Chris Costa

Good day fellow commonwealth! I recently interviewed Mr. Thomas Paine about his critically acclaimed piece of literature entitled, Common Sense. The first thing that struck me was his choice of garments to wear. Had the Devil himself dressed this man? His unruly display of colorless, drab fabric forever stained my very impressionable mind. His doublet looked as if it were constructed out of the dirt at our very feet. It was as if nothing but dull fabric graced this man’s skin. Anyway, when Mr. Paine began telling me of his newly released work, I thought he was continually insulting me, due to his recurring use of the phrase “common sense.” Well, at least he was not just trying to poke fun at me. Even if he was, I would call that a meager attempt at most. Now, the title brought up a few questions. Common sense, what is it? Why do Americans lack it? Why would someone have the audacity to write such words of criticism? He answered all those very well and I mean VERY well. Mr. Paine spoke very intelligently and with the utmost respect for the American people. His mind was clearly focused on the people he so dearly loved and clearly not his breeches. Overall, besides his complete disregard for proper dress, Mr. Paine was a very intelligent man with a very strong passion for writing.

- Mr. Killington, Jamestown Gazette